“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is…First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.” Barbara deAngelis
Much of the work that professional and personal coaches do with clients is about helping them to clarify what they want, and then putting an action plan in place to get it.
I recently worked with a client, Caroline*, who was stressed out by lack of resources in her role, and working long hours, constant firefighting, without really getting to deliver any value in her role as a manager – a familiar story to many.
She considered the stay or go option, and while she might want to move on to something else in the longer term, this wasn’t necessarily going to solve her problems right now.
So we looked at what the top three things would be to help her manage her current situation better. There were a few things, but the top priority was to get two additional resources, to deal with operational and day-to-day stuff.
Caroline said that any time she had asked for anything in the past, she had got minimal response or action from her boss; she also felt that asking for “help” would be perceived as a weakness on her part.
She also felt these additional resources wouldn’t be approved so we looked at her approach to communicate what she wanted to her boss. If he didn’t approve them, then she would cross that bridge when she came to it.
So Caroline devised a short presentation outlining
- The problems being faced at present
- The key things that needed to be done e.g. extra resources
- The consequences of not doing these things
- What she expected of her boss, and some suggestions for how to action them