I predict a Diet…

Thanks to my good friend who emailed this – author unknown…

‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
At holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remembered the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The punch and the candy, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d not said, “No Thank You, Please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—
I said to myself, as I only can “you can’t spend a winter disguised as a man”

So— away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
“Till all the additional ounces has vanished.

I won’t have a cookie— not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore—
But isn’t it that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a Good Diet!